I am starting a new series called “Honest Hump Day.” This series will basically encompass thoughts, ideas, and concerns I have about anything and everything … Why? Because sometimes I need a reminder that everyone is crazy and nobody is normal, including myself. What is normal anyways? Let go of the facade. I’d prefer to just keep it honest.
This term was actually coined by one of my BGs (best girlfriend) in
college after I had removed my pubic hair for the first time. I was in the shower stall of the common bathroom in our dorm waiting 10 min. for the hair removal lotion to do its work, when I started having doubts …
college after I had removed my pubic hair for the first time. I was in the shower stall of the common bathroom in our dorm waiting 10 min. for the hair removal lotion to do its work, when I started having doubts …
“Why the hell am I doing this? I was still getting laid with the hair sooo WTF … Am I going to have an allergic reaction? Will the boy I’m dating even like it? I just played into society’s rule over beauty … Damn It…”
were all thoughts that crossed my mind.
So what does every young lady do when they have doubts???
They go to their girlfriends and talk it out.
After rinsing the lotion off and seeing the final product of my hairlessness, I called one of my girlfriends into the bathroom annnnnnnnd showed her my wawa …
She bust out laughing and said “It looks like a naked mole rat!”
I won’t go into how she tried to console me after she was done laughing or how I finally got over it by having a talk with my lower extremity and telling it that we would get through this together …
You get the idea.
That’s how “the naked mole rat” came to be and it is a term I now lovingly like to call the vaginal area, after it’s been waxed by the people of Brazil.
It’s all the rave nowadays and I finally gave it a try earlier this year just for the heck of it…
Ask anyone whose done it and they will all tell you the same story …
It hurts like a bitch.
I personally think it hurts like a little bitch when you coordinate exhaling with every yank of the wax strip
(implementation of yoga into the wax environment).
Going into my first appointment with the Brazilian wax, I spoke with alot of different women who had gone through the experience before.
“Take ibuprofen an hour before you go.”
“Buy baby powder so your coochie won’t sweat.”
“You might get whiteheads down there.”
You would think I was turned off by their words of advice but nooooo, I just had to try it once and see what the rave was all about.
Despite all the words of encouragement and inside scoop I was getting from my friends about this procedure,
there was one thing they didn’t tell me.
And it’s this one thing I want to share with you…
—
That one thing I wish I had known about is called “the side dribble” …
No. I am not talking about basketball.
The “side dribble” is the result of squatting at a public restroom (pr) because you don’t want to get germs on your butt … And then having urine run down your inner thigh as a result of there being no hair there to catch it. That is the side dribble and if you plan on getting a brazilian wax, you should be fully prepared to deal with this when you go to use the bathroom.
Don’t get caught off guard like I did.
My first episode using the pr after my wax was a disaster.
There I was urinating … working out my thighs in perfect squat position when all of a sudden I felt the “dribble”… Once I realized what was happening, I rushed to grab some toilet paper all while maintaining squat form (and yes, I’m still pissing too). Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get to my thigh in time before the urine had already reached my knee area.
Needless to say, my undies and pants got a lil wet and I rushed home to clean up as soon as I could.
Don’t be a victim to the DRIBBLE!!!
Prep Yourself!
Get that toilet paper out before you squat down!
Have your hand ready to wipe those thighs the minute you start feeling it come down your leg.
Because you know what….
You could be at the club, drunk as h*#!,and go use the bathroom …
Dribble.
You could be at work, wearing pantyhose and go use the bathroom …
Dribble.
You could be getting married in a white dress and go use the bathroom during a break …
Dribble.
The dribble will attack when you least expect it.
You could even wipe the toilet, put paper down on the seat and sit … You Will Still Get The Dribble.
The second time I went to get my wax, I asked the aesthetician about the dribble.
She said “you mean leaking when you go pee??? That happens to everyone esp. if you like to squat when you piss…”
(Cricket Chirping)
Well thanks for telling me the first time around …
This information would’ve helped alot if I had known this beforehand. That’s All.
Hope this lil tidbit helps anyone reading that is looking to get all their hair completely removed down there. I’m not saying you don’t sometimes get the dribble even if you do have pubic hair but it’s definitely more prominent and flows down quicker when you don’t.
Cheers and Have a Happy Honest Hump Day!!!
xo,
Setarra
