I originally wrote this blurb in April …
However reading through this dialogue now, I find that it’s still relevant. Especially when you consider the fact that I’ve gone/am going to 5 weddings this year and many of my friends and family are all having babies at the same time … And now everyone all of a sudden expects me and the boy to be next … Thanks But No Thanks!
It’s mind boggling how some people weave their way from the past into your future …
This summer of 2012, I will officially be in a 5 year relationship. That Shit Cray! (I just had to use that phrase once in my life hehe). When I first met him in 2005, I couldn’t stand him and he couldn’t stand me. He was sooo annoyingly cocky and I was too good to deal with his nonsense.
But after 2 years of knowing and seeing each other through the same circle of friends, one night of honest conversation finally brought out the truth beneath our simmering feelings for each other. We ended up hanging out and dating for a year before becoming exclusive.
Was it our intention to be together for so long? Nope. We’ve always focused on taking it one day at a time. And as each day passed, they became weeks, to months, to years. There have been ups and downs but through out it all, we are still here and blessedly still in love.
We don’t have an anniversary and have NEVER celebrated an anniversary.
But for some reason people always ask “When is your anniversary?”
My honest response is “I don’t know.”
We kind of just decided to get together and forgot to make note of that specific day.
All I know is that it was in the summer of 2007….
Now … I just say June, July, or August when people ask to avoid further questioning.
It’s gotten worse recently with going to so many weddings … People catch the bug of romance and want to spread the love which is awesome and I totally get it. We need more love in this world. But repeated announcements that Charles and I better get married soon or have a baby have become an irking weight to carry sometimes … We can’t base our relationship on the success or failures of other people’s relationships. We are on our own timeline…
Whenever our friends and acquaintances realize how long we’ve been together, the usual question is
“Soooo when are you guys getting married?” I don’t know what he says but … I usually say “Not anytime soon.”
The typical response to my answer is a look of surprise or disbelief followed by a speech about how we’re in denial and going to get married much sooner than we think. ( … I purposely never try to catch the bouquet at weddings.)
Don’t get me wrong, the boy and I are not anti-marriage or anti – baby makin.
We love each other and want those same things too.
But. We. Are. In. No. Rush …
It will happen when it is supposed to happen.
I am not going to all of a sudden start trying to get married just because all my girls are getting married and my ovaries have an expiration date … That’s ludicrous.
My ovaries are just fine thank you and the clock can continue to tick.
I will be a MILF regardless of how old I am when I decide to have kids.
There are women who think to have babies asap so they can still be “young” when their kids grow up. That’s their prerogative … I personally think being young is a mindset. Being healthy and able to run after your kids at any age requires a balanced diet and daily dose of fitness.
I’m 25. He’s 26.
Our focus right now is to build our careers, become financially stable and simply go with the flow.
We are great where we are.
We are different and it works for us.
So while people are getting married or having babies, we’re just getting more awesome with time like a good bottle of unopened wine ;)
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*** The point of this post is NOT to bash any of my friends or family who have recently gotten married or had/ are having babies. The boy and I love them and support of each and every one of their decisions.
The point is to reach out to anyone who may relate to this post (single or in a relationship) and say “It’s OK if you’re not quite ready to take the next step, whatever that step may be. Don’t allow outside circumstances to influence or change your idea of what success is to you. It’s easy to wonder if you’re a failure or lagging behind the pack because you don’t have what your network of friends or family may have right now (I’ve pondered this myself on numerous occasions in moments of self-doubt).
Everything comes in due time.
Stay true to who you are and believe in your path on this road called life.”
Cheers and Have a Happy Honest Hump Day!
xo,
Setarra
