Blogging live from the hospital…. I’ve set the timer to 15 minutes to quickly dump my mind on recent events because these past couple of weeks have been a blur and I don’t want to forget one detail.
It’s a plot twist that began with my water breaking on a Wednesday morning at 32 weeks around 4:30-ish am. What I thought was just a regular early morning pee sleep walk to the bathroom turned into a bloody show/mucus plug gush that caught me and Charles completely off guard. This was *not* a part of the plan… Our kitchen reno wasn’t done; we’ve yet to build BB’s dresser and crib annnd we hadn’t even started on our hospital bags yet.
That said, a rushed, haphazard packing of bags and, 15 minutes later, we were off to the hospital… Only for me to be admitted and put through so many tests (including two catheter experiences I hope to never repeat again) that came back inconclusive on why my water broke so early. On top of that, I wasn’t dilating or having active contractions.
Since then, I’ve been on hospital bedrest with Charles right beside me the whole time; serving as my supportive rock, my daily ‘glass half full’ reminder, my shower and hygiene helper in the bathroom, and my point of contact for all of our family and friends when I was overwhelmed and didn’t have capacity to respond to the surge of concerned energy that was constantly checking in for updates.
I’ve received daily antibiotic infusions to keep the possibility of infection away and daily baby stress tests to make sure BB is doing fine which… It’s really chillin in the womb like nothing has happened – completely unbothered.
After a thorough discussion on all options available for how to proceed, my high risk Doc and I decided to move forward with putting me on hospital bed rest and trying to keep baby inside the womb until I got to 34 weeks, at which point the plan is to get induced.
Plan set, for the past two weeks…
– I’ve been working virtually from the hospital in the antepartum wing – trying to close out as much as I can work wise considering I will be taking parental leave waaaay earlier than planned.
– Also, been working through my hypnobirthing course; which I just completed yesterday – woo! right on time. My goal is to be able to look back and reflect on having a positive birth experience regardless of how my labor manifests. BB’s head is down and I’m gonna give it a good natural and vaginal go but am also totally open to epidural and/or c-section if Doc needs to intervene on behalf of BB’s well-being.
– Charles went home real quick to clean up the bathroom and repack our hospital bags more appropriately.
– We canceled both of my baby shower, one of which was supposed to be this Saturday. My Mommy Ma and bro, Kris, still ended up driving down from Chicago anyways to be close by, drop off her first round of belongings as she preps to move in with us later this year and also prep/stock our fridge with food for me and Charles.
– I’ve spent some astrological time researching Virgos because, being born this early, our expected Libra baby has decided it wants to be a Virgo instead.
– I’ve also youtubed way tooooo many preemie baby birth stories to prepare Charles and myself mentally for our anticipated NICU experience in the weeks to come.
– I’ve been maintaining a bubble of zen around me. Staying calm, intentionally breathing and meditating. Trying to keep the positive energy flowing so it doesn’t affect my physical health or BB’s.
*Sidenote: hospital food isn’t that bad as long as you ask for salt and pepper on the side.*
*Second Sidenote; I think I jinxed myself in this post in regards to my anxiety about having an IV needle on me during labor… Because I’ve had an IV needle in my left arm for 12 days now. It took the nurses (yes, two of them) 4 tries to find a vein big enough to get an IV line in when I was initially admitted. As a result, I’ve developed a reputation with everyone (docs and nurses) in the maternity ward as a ‘bad stick’ (having bad veins to stick a needle with) and they’ve all encouraged me to keep my IV in (whenever I’ve asked about the possibility of taking it out) until after baby is born since I’ll need the IV to be induced a.k.a. they don’t wanna go through the process of trying to stick me again lol. Woe is me.*
Now here we are… The night before our induction. We made it to 34 weeks; thank you Lord and Buddha. BB is moving around actively in the belly despite having it’s olympic pool being downsized to a splash park and it’s game time.
I must confess that the planner in me is still feeling kinda salty and robbed of 6 weeks worth of BB prep time. But to be fair, *nothing* has gone as planned with our pregnancy experience since our first ultrasound. These past eight months have been on ongoing practice of patience, leaning into going with the flow and having faith that everything will manifest exactly as it should happen and in our favor.
That said, I’m currently feeling excited. Nervous. Ready. Not prepared and overall anxious to meet BB…
Welp, my timer just went off so this is where I will have to leave things for today’s post. Your girl needs to shower and get some rest before her system gets flooded with pitocin tomorrow morning.
I can do this. I will do this. I’m a bad bitch. (repeat)
Until next post.
xo, Setarra
(8/27/21)
