Today, your girl turns 31.
And I’ve been sitting in front of my laptop for the past 15 minutes, twiddling my fingers because I’m not sure where to begin with writing today’s post. The past 365 days, journeying from 30 to 31 years of life, have been filled with many highs, just as many lows and so much hard-earned growth.
Last year, right after graduating with my Master’s Degree, I went through a period of feeling burned out and lost with no sense of self-direction. Getting my degree was the last plan I had made for myself before Charles and I moved in together and got married. In the following years of marriage, all the plans I had were “our plans.”
Post graduation, having friends and family ask “what are you going to do now?” made me realize that I didn’t know. I hadn’t made any plans past this point that were independent of my relationship and for a girl who thrives on having a plan… Well, I freaked the phuck out and had a bit of a meltdown.
Long story short and fast forward to today, I’m in the midst of my year of SELF and slowly but surely figuring out what I want to do with myself, both personally and professionally.
Today I feel thankful to simply be alive with a heart that is open to all the possibilities the future has in store for me. I am thankful for the support of my husband, family and friends. I am also thankful for dance – for the joy it’s brought me since I’ve started dancing again.
With that said, I thought I’d share a fun list of things…
31 things about myself to celebrate my 31st birthday. :)
1) Butterflies are my favorite insects.
2) I didn’t get my drivers license until I was 23. Growing up in DC, I took the metro everywhere and didn’t need a car. The university I went to for undergrad was metro accessible and then when I moved to NYC, I didn’t need a car either.
3) Moulin Rouge is my most favorite musical ever… So you can imagine how cised I was when I learned that it’s finally going to be coming to Broadway after it does its Pre-Broadway run in Boston this summer!!!
4) I like my carrot cake with NO RAISINS. It’s a struggle because alot of people and bakeries make this cake with raisins which results in me spending the first couple of minutes picking the raisins out before I can eat the cake.
5) Play any NSYNC song and, more than likely, I know the choreography to the correlating music video. Same with Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, Janet Jackson’s “If”, Jordan Knight’s “Give It To You”, Aaliyah’s “Are You That Somebody”, Britney Spears’ “Slave 4 You”, “Crazy” and the Backstreet Boys “Everybody” video.
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6) Team short nails over here. I can’t stand having long nails.
7) When it comes to spicy food, I’m a two (2) chilies kind of gal. Any dish that has 3 or more chilies is beyond my digestive capacity.
8) Aside from my mom, my first idol growing up was Kimora Lee Simmons. She represents the first time I ever saw a mixed model/celebrity in commercial photography and on the screen. As a fellow mixed kid, I used to rock all her Baby Phat gear to the point that in high school, my nickname was “Phat Phat” lol.
9) When I start a book, I like to finish it immediately – like up until 4 in the morning (when I need to be at work by 8:30am) reading a book because I need to know how the story ends. Also, don’t try to talk to me when I’m reading a book because more than likely, I won’t hear you. <- This gets on Charles’s nerves all the time.
10) Speaking of books, I’m a big fan of reading romance novels which alot of my friends laugh at me about. Historical romance, paranormal romance, mystery/suspenseful romance, contemporary romance… And one day, I’d love to write my own romance novel. One day.
11) I’m not a big fan of perfume, heavy floral, musky or holiday season scents. Walking through the makeup/perfume section at department stores always give me headaches… I just like to simply smell clean and when it comes to my go-to candle scents: lavender, fresh laundry, ocean and anything light and citrusy reign supreme.
12) My one and only claim to fame was this one time I was cast in a Wale music video for “Pat Yo Weave”. Funny thing is that I was in the video patting my weave but didn’t really have any weave on lol. Link here for a little blast from the past. Can you find me?
13) My go-to outfit is skinny jeans, a loose but form grazing top with a scoop or v-neck and sneakers. I pretty much wear this every day.
14) My dream car is a Subaru Outback… Which to Charles is not a high enough aspiration to be considered a “dream car.” I get it but I don’t care. One day I’m gonna own one.
15) Martin and Gina will always be relationship goals.
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16) I like my butter with a side of bread. To give you an idea of how bad my butter obsession is – whenever I get soup from Panera, I typically ask for 6 packets of butter to go with the small piece of baguette that comes with the soup… And I use allll the butter.
17) I believe in evolution but also believe in the little miracles in life that science can’t explain.
18) When it comes to dance, my favorite styles to perform are modern, hip-hop and lyrical. I have the utmost respect for ballet but it’s never felt good on my body if that makes any sense.
19) I tend to shut down in confrontational situations. My mind goes blank, there’s a heaviness in my chest that builds and I have a really hard time connecting the words that come out of the person’s mouth so I can know how to respond. It’s a default reaction I think I developed as a kid and is something I’ve very consciously been working to change this year.
20) I said was gonna get a tattoo when I turned 30 but haven’t gotten one yet because I need my mom to write the word what I want to get in the Cambodian alphabet for me. But mom doesn’t want me to get a tattoo and refuses to write out the word I want so here I am at 31, tattoo-less.
The word: Robam <– “Dance” in Cambodian
21) When it comes to video games, I’m the person who moves the controller in the direction I want to characters to go.
22) I have a very lonnnnnnnng line of patience. But when I get to the end of that long line patience, I kind of turn into the Incredible Hulk with rage. Only a few people have seen me in “hulk” mode. It’s a side of me I don’t like at all which is why I’m very intentional about channeling calm and positive energy in my day to day.
23) When it comes to pets (between my mom and dad’s side of the family) I grew up with 2 cats, 3 dogs and a rabbit.
24) Yes, aliens do exist.
25) I have a thing for visiting cemeteries during the day. Photos in today’s post were taken by me and my brother, Kris, at the Congressional Cemetary in Southeast D.C. The first national cemetery, pretty much every Congressman who died in D.C. was buried in Congressional Cemetery up until the mid 18-30’s. 50 years later, Arlington Cemetery was created.
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26) As a kid, I used to threaten my parents that I would change my name to Sonia because no one could pronounce my name right. “Sonia” because I was obsessed with Mortal Kombat and loved Sonia’ power handstand move that she used to break her opponent’s neck… Fast forward to today, I now love my name and still can’t do a handstand to save my life.
27) I’m really bad at walking around corners. I’m constantly getting random bruises on the sides of my thighs or shoulders from walking into the side of desks and walls…
28) To piggyback on 27, your girl also has a hard time walking without tripping on something. Charles is constantly lecturing me on being aware and picking up my feet when I walk because he worries about me hurting myself. One might say “I’m graceful in the dance studio but a klutz everywhere else in life.”
29) A few years ago, I accidentally locked myself out of my 3rd-floor apartment and was stuck on my balcony in the middle of one of the worst snowstorms the DMV area had… And get this. I was in my pajamas, without my cell phone and Charles was in Florida. It was by far the scariest moment I’ve ever experienced and still makes me feel nauseous when I think about it.
30) I get so much joy from the act of “creating”. It’s this creative inclination that plays a big influence in why I enjoy making plans, taking photos, developing dance choreography, and putting together blog posts.
31) For my birthday, I’m celebrating by having a cleaning service come and clean my apartment from top to bottom. Yes, you heard right. I am getting my apartment cleaned by somebody else for the first time ever today and am sooooo excited!!!
Setarra at 21 would probably gag at the thought of gifting myself with something like this considering, for my 21st birthday, I celebrated by hosting a party at a friend’s fraternity house that came complete with my first keg stand experience.
But Setarra at 31? This is my idea of FUN.
With that said, a big Happy Birthday! to all my fellow April babies. Cheers to getting better with time like a bottle of fine wine.
xo, Setarra
P.S. More birthday posts HERE.
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